Watch Yourself
by Theoretician
Summary: The Autobots watch Transformers 2007. Pretty much crack, G1.


**Title: **Watch Yourself

**Author:** Mademoiselle Juko Pax-Prime  
><strong>Rating:<strong> PG  
><strong>Summary:<strong> The Autobots watch Transformers 2007. Pretty much crack, G1.

**Content/Warnings: **Crack-tastical fun.  
><strong>Feedback:<strong> I would love lots of feedback! Because feedback=a happy, better writer.  
><strong>Spoilers:<strong> For Transformers 2007.

**Disclaimer:** I do not and never will own Transformers. This was made purely for fun.

**For the record, I love the movies just as much as I love Generation 1! **

"How in the universe did they make a movie about us without actually using us?" Wheeljack muttered, while Spike set up Teletraan-1 to play the DVD.

"That's what we're going to find out, Wheeljack!" said Carly.

"I wonder if the Decepti_crumbs_ are in it, too," said Cliffjumper.

"Okay, it's ready!" Spike announced. He walked back to his seat beside Carly and sat down. "Fire it up, Teletraan!"

There was a few seconds of silence, then Teletraan-1's screen came to life. The menu animation sequence began.

"Who's that?" asked Carly. "I can't hardly see anything!"

"I think…I think that's supposed to be Optimus Prime!" said Chip. Everyone looked at Prime.

"Play the movie, Teletraan-1," he said. Teletraan complied. They waited patiently through the first thirty seconds of company acknowledgements.

_"Before time began, there was the Cube."_

"The Pit…?" Ironhide muttered. "The Cube? What are they talking about?" Carly shushed him.

_"…only that it holds the power to create worlds and fill them with life. That is how our race was born."_

"What? That's not even a little bit true!" Jazz said.

"Calm down, Jazz," said Chip. "I'm sure it gets better."

_"…and so began the war. A war that ravaged our planet until it was consumed by death and the Cube was lost to the far reaches of space. We scattered across the galaxy, hoping to find it and rebuild our home. Searching every star, every world. And just all hope seemed lost, message of a new discovery drew us to an unknown planet called Earth."_

"That's not why we came here! We crashed!" Mirage protested.

"And who are they?" asked Wheeljack. He pointed at the men on the screen. One was speaking Spanish.

"I don't know," said Sparkplug. "But that one has a daughter." He pointed at the youngest looking man.

"This is painful," said Brawn. "I thought this was supposed to be about us."

"Just let it go, Brawn," said Ratchet.

"I'm sure we'll show up soon," Bumblebee said.

"Aw, look! That's such a cute baby!" Carly cooed.

They watched in silence for a minute or two, until the helicopter started transforming.

"See! Told you, here—wait, no. That's a Decepticon."Bumblebee frowned. "And, wow, it's really destroying that base."

"Who is that, anyway?" asked Spike. No one knew.

For the next several minutes, no one said anything. Then the boy showed up.

"Who's that kid? And that girl?" asked Carly. "If she's supposed to be me, they did it all wrong."

"I'm sure we'll find that out, Carly," said Prime.

"Huh. His dad is messed _up_," said Blaster, a minute or so later.

"Ooh, I think something exciting is going to happen! Everybody shh!" said Carly.

"Look, it's our insignia," said Bumblebee. Carly shushed him. No one spoke for five minutes.

"I still wanna know who that Camaro is supposed to be," Bumblebee muttered.

Ten minutes passed in silence, until the stereo transformed.

"What is _that_," Ironhide growled.

"Whatever it is, it's killing those guys without mercy," said Inferno.

Another few minutes went by. When the stereo-robot got in the cop car, Chip made an odd noise.

"Look look look! It transformed!" Bumblebee exclaimed, when the Camaro transformed.

"This is so stupid," said Sideswipe.

"What's that thing supposed to be?" asked Hound, when the soldiers were attacked in the desert. "It looks like a scorpion of some sort." Everyone exchanged looks.

"A scorpion? You don't think…" said Cosmos.

"No, that looks nothing like Scorponok," said Ratchet.

"Where are the all the Autobots, man?" asked Jazz. "It's been more than thirty minutes!"

"Maybe you'll show up soon," said Chip.

Sure enough, right after the Camaro versus police car battle, four more robots showed up.

"Finally!" said Cliffjumper.

"But there's no way we're all in there," said Sunstreaker.

"Shh, we're about to find out," said Spike. "Look, there's a big rig. I bet that's Optimus Prime."

"Why does it have flames, then?" asked Prime. He looked down at himself. "I don't."

"Wait a minute, it's all gonna be explained," said Trailbreaker.

_"My name is Optimus Prime."_

"Pause it, Teletraan!" Spike yelled. The screen froze, and everyone looked at their Prime, then at the Prime on the screen.

"There's…_some_ resemblance…" Carly said feebly.

"Except that one," Spike said, pointing at the screen, "has a mouth."

"Just play the movie," said Prime. He didn't sound pleased.

_"My first lieutenant. Designation: Jazz."_

"WHAT!" Jazz yelled.

_"…my weapons specialist, Ironhide."_

"What? I'm head of security, slaggit," Ironhide said, crossing his arms. "And since when did I have a _British_ accent?"

_"Our medical officer, Ratchet."_

"Well, at least they got that right," Ratchet muttered.

_"You already know your Guardian, Bumblebee."_

"Wait…what?" said Bumblebee. "But…I can talk!"

"Sorry, Bumblebee," said Spike. "They really messed that up."

"They kind of tried explained it…" said Chip.

"Megatron didn't come to Earth of his own free will!" said Hound.

"And Cybertron isn't destroyed. Chromia and the other girls are still up there, and so is Shockwave," said Ironhide.

When the Autobots made their way into the Witwicky yard, Jazz scoffed.

"There's no way Prime would be that clumsy," he said.

"Whoever made this did no research whatsoever," said Perceptor.

"I've never run into power lines!" Ratchet exclaimed. "That would be something that…that…" He didn't even finish his sentence.

"Remind me why we're watching this?" said Tracks.

"Maybe it'll get better?" Spike said half-heartedly.

They watched the next hour of the movie with few comments, except for Starscream and Megatron's exchange. Jazz had laughed and said that they at least captured how much of a failure Starscream was.

When the movie Jazz was ripped in half by Megatron, Carly screamed, and both Jazz and Ironhide swore loudly.

"This is offensive!" Perceptor said indignantly. "I don't believe it!"

The rest of the movie was watched in stony silence. When it finished, Teletraan-1 spit the disc out forcefully, as offended by it as the rest of the Autobots. Spike picked it up and looked around at the Autobots.

"There's two more. Want to—?"

"NO!" everyone yelled in unison.

**Should I do one with the female Autobots and ROTF? **


End file.
